August 7, 2006
View Comments | Post CommentRed Grape Snobbery
I love red grapes. I eat them as a snack. I eat them as a dessert. I buy at least a pound of them per week, when they're in season. And I cook with them. Soon, children, soon, you will be enlightened to the delight that is my red grape sauteed lamb shoulder with... wait for it... caramelized red grapes! And lately, I've been concocting some desserts involving red grapes. Not ready to share yet, but I can tell you this: peeling grapes is extremely time-consuming. Clearly, I am a red grape lover.
But there's one eensy-weensy caveat to my love of things red grape. Actually, it's a pretty big caveat. You see, at least half the red grapes in circulation are not up to snuff. In order to satisfy my red grape yearnings, the grapes must be quite firm, and nearly spherical. The grapes for which I yen are plump and round, and pop just so when their thin skin is pierced by my anxious jaws.
So many of the grapes one finds are of an inferior variety. They wobble around, oblong, or else they squeeze down awkwardly when munched, like a half-inflated balloon one must work extra hard to pop. They simply aren't as satisfying. Their skin lacks a tartness that the spherical and plump ones possess, and the fruit inside is overly sweet, without the clarity and complexity of the ones I love.
It's so strange to me that such a subtle difference in a single food about which others are not all that particular (as far as I know) can make such a big difference to me. Before I buy grapes, I squeeze a few from the bag to make sure they're plump and firm. If they aren't firm enough, I don't buy them. And if the bag is of oblong grapes, then I don't even bother. I just stare at them disappointedly, trying my best not to let the tears welling up in my eyes spill out and be wasted on so pitiful a fruit. The plumpness may have something to do with ripeness and freshness. But the eccentricity of the grape's curve is clearly a varietal issue. I wish I knew more about why I sometimes am left deprived, and other times am blessed with an abundance. Does anyone out there share my bittersweet love for red grapes?
Posted by Barzelay at August 7, 2006 1:28 AM | Comments (4) | Veggies, Fruit, Grain, Cheese
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I have a love/hate relationship with fruit in general. I've never been able to eat it consistantly. My entire life is just alternating periods of infactuation and disdain for fruits. Ill encounter periods where Ill eat a bag of grapes every 3 days for 2 weeks then not eat grapes for another 6 months. I don't know if I just tend to OD on fruits or what but I tend to get sick of particular fruits after heavily eating them for periods of time. I think it has to do with the fact that im thrifty and just buy whatever fruit is on sale and only eat that instead of buying a variety and eating each fruit sparingly.
Posted by: Adam Rugg at August 8, 2006 3:15 PM
I eat any and all fruit as long as it's not rotting. And if its close to rotting, I'll see if I can incorporate it in some bread or baked dessert or something--spiced apple bake anyone?
I have a special love for the fruits I really relished at home: cherries, apricots, peaches, plums, kiwis, mangoes, and watermelon. Oh for an Alphonso MANGO!
I'll keep a special eye out for oblong red grapes and show them some love seeing as you are so discriminatory David. Are you sure you're not cultivating these eccentricities?
Posted by: Natasha D'Souza at August 11, 2006 6:58 PM
I don't think I have any more eccentricities than most people. But because I dove so deeply into cooking this past year, I think I'm very aware of them. I'm not all that picky about most foods. Red grapes are an exception.
Posted by: Barzelay at August 11, 2006 7:02 PM
I like red grapes. My boyfriend loves red grapes, the perfect round ones David so expertly described. I've started freezing them. I wash and dry them and put them into a container and right into the freezer. I use them as ice in drinks, as part of fruit kabobs, in desserts or I just eat them plain. They're delicious and it makes me wonder why so many other fruits are marketed frozen, yet grapes, I dare say the most perfect fruit to freeze, have been sadly overlooked. I dare you to try it. If you disagree I'll cook you dinner.
Posted by: Carolyn at January 23, 2007 6:47 PM
