Coquilles St. Jacques with Mushrooms

Makes 4 small servings. Easily can be doubled. Prep time: 15 minutes. Cooking time: 30 minutes between stove and oven.

The ingredients:

• 1/2 pound scallops, washed and drained. If you get big sea scallops, you're going to have to cut them up into 3 or 4 pieces anyway, so you might as well just get the small, cheap, bay scallops. On the other hand, if you can get the big ones with the shells, it'll make for a very nice presentation.
• 1 cup chopped mushrooms (chanterelles, if you can find and afford them, else portobellos, else buttons)
• 1 cup white wine, such as sauvignon blanc or pinot grigio. It doesn't have to be especially dry.
• 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
• 1 shallot, minced (or you can substitute 1/4 cup of onion and a clove of garlic)
• 1 oz of parmesan (or about 2 tbsp grated parmesan)
• 1/4 cup breadcrumbs (or about 1 1/2 slices of white bread if you're making your own)
• 1/2 tbsp lemon juice (about 1/3 of a lemon, squeezed)
• 1/8 cup of flour
• 1 bay leaf
• Dash of marjoram
• Dash of paprika
• Dash of thyme
• Dash of cayenne pepper
• Dash of black pepper
• 1 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/4 cup water

The algorithm:

If you already have breadcrumbs, skip this paragraph. If you are making your own bread crumbs, heat the oven to 300 degrees Fahrenheit and put 2 slices of bread on a rack in a pan. Bake for about 15 minutes, until all moisture has been cooked out of the bread. It won't turn golden and toasty. You have to feel it and see if it's completely dried out to crouton-like consistency. When it's done, take it out and crush 1 1/2 slices of the bread into tiny little crumbs, either by hand, or with your crushing method of choice (mortar and pestle? baseball bat? medieval mace? headbutts?).

Melt 1/2 tbsp in saucepan over medium heat. Sautee mushrooms for about 4 minutes. Transfer mushrooms into separate bowl and reserve. Resist eating.

Add another 1/2 tbsp of butter to the saucepan. Sautee shallot (or onion and garlic, if used instead of shallot) for about five minutes, until tender. Add 1/4 cup of water, then bay leaf, then lemon, then wine. Turn heat up to high. Add dash of marjoram, dash of thyme, 1/2 tsp salt. Bring to a boil. Let it boil for about 2 minutes. Don't watch it.

Add scallops and poach until just barely cooked through, about 3 minutes. Do not overcook. Transfer the scallops to a full-sized plate with a slotted spoon and spread them out so that they will not retain all the heat and keep cooking. Take saucepan off the heat, but save it.

Preheat broiler.

Melt 1 tbsp butter in another saucepan over medium heat, and then add breadcrumbs, stirring until they are toasted. Add grated parmesan to pan very briefly, and then remove the breadcrumb mixture to a separate bowl and save. Wipe saucepan clean.

Add 1 tablespoon butter and melt. Whisk in flour to make a roux. Continue light whisking, and add dash of paprika, dash of cayenne pepper, dash of black pepper, 1 tsp salt.

Continue light whisking about 3 minutes. Don't let it start to darken. Then, while continuing to whisk, add the reserved cooking liquid from the other pan in a slow stream. Whisk until the cooking liquid is completely incorporated, then add heavy cream and whisk briefly until incorporated. While continuing to simmer, fold in scallops and mushrooms. Simmer until mixture thickens, occasionally stirring, between zero and 4 minutes, then remove from heat.

Divide scallop mixture into 4 ramekins, filling almost up to the top but not quite. Don't overfill or it will spill out while broiling. If you have scallop shells, use those instead. If you don't have shells or ramekins, use a shallow casserole dish, about 6 inches by 8 inches.

Sprinkle breadcrumb mixture liberally (like Kucinich liberally, not Lieberman liberally) over ramekins (or shells, or baking dish), creating a nice coating. Broil about 6 inches from heat until breadcrumbs and cheese are brown and toasted. About 8 minutes. Or, instead of broiling, refrigerate for up to 2 days, then reheat at 350 for about six minutes before broiling for 8 minutes. Either way, serve with the rest of the wine.